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Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
