We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
