Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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