Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
