I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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