The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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