just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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