Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
