Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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