Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
