I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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