absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize