he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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