Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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