You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
How external is "for external use only"?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
