question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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