i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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