he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
