i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
