Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
