anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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