I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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