loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize