guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
