Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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