I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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