He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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