We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
