he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
