There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
