We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
