I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
