OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
