who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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