so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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