Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
