Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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