god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
