How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
