Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
