I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
