He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
