All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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