holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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