Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
