that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
