ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
