i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
