I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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