Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Come see our sink grown plant.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
