"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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