I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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