my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
