You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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