yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
