Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
