I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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