If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize