yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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