Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
