Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
