The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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