dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
