How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
