your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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