this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize