so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
