My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
